Witch School Sucks!
Chapter 1
My name is Daisy and I am definitely, positively, absolutely not a WITCH. I am an ACTRESS. And, I am living in the land of SERIOUSLY ANNOYED with my Granny Wart for bringing me here, Toadspit Towers, School for Witches. As a birthday treat!
My name is Daisy and I am definitely, positively, absolutely not a WITCH. I am an ACTRESS. And, I am living in the land of SERIOUSLY ANNOYED with my Granny Wart for bringing me here, Toadspit Towers, School for Witches. As a birthday treat!
Chocolate, currently in my backpack, is a birthday treat. The Complete Comedies of William Shakespeare, currently in my backpack, is a birthday treat. Cake, not currently in my backpack, is a birthday treat. Enrolling me at a school for witches is NOT a birthday treat. It's a TRAGEDY!
'Go on then.' Granny pushes me forward with her broomstick. 'Get in there.'
I point out the dirty sign and shake my head. ‘Granny. I absolutely refuse to enter a building named Toadspit Towers. And you can’t make me.’ This is a definite folding of the arms moment, so I do fold them. Then I add in a glare. I’m quite good at glares.
Granny does a toothless tut. She's a traditional witch, black dress, black hat, and red in the face if she doesn’t get her own way. But she's cuddly too. Like a pile of cushions in a dress.
‘Tis your destiny,’ she says and pushes again.
Her broomstick needs a trim. It’s far too spiky. I dodge the next jab and act patient. This takes skill. ‘Granny. Just because you want me to be a witch doest not maketh me a witchity witch from the world of witchydom!’
I take one-step forward and pretend to walk into an invisible wall. I bounce back, rubbing my nose for that extra touch of believability. ‘Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. See, there's a warp ten force shield round this school that stops ALL non-witches getting in. That’s proof. Let's go home.'
Granny sighs. 'For goodness sake, child. Stop making things up. There ain't no force field. You is a witch cos I knows it. Now knock on that knocker before I poke your bottom one more time!'
She shakes her broomstick at me but I don't step forward because I am thinking there is NO WAY that I am touching that knocker. That knocker is a gargoyle's head and it just scowled at me. I’m used to odd things scowling at home, not just Granny, but this knocker has teeth. And it’s gnashing them. Fingers could be lost and I like my fingers. They’re useful.
'Go on then.' Granny pushes me forward with her broomstick. 'Get in there.'
I point out the dirty sign and shake my head. ‘Granny. I absolutely refuse to enter a building named Toadspit Towers. And you can’t make me.’ This is a definite folding of the arms moment, so I do fold them. Then I add in a glare. I’m quite good at glares.
Granny does a toothless tut. She's a traditional witch, black dress, black hat, and red in the face if she doesn’t get her own way. But she's cuddly too. Like a pile of cushions in a dress.
‘Tis your destiny,’ she says and pushes again.
Her broomstick needs a trim. It’s far too spiky. I dodge the next jab and act patient. This takes skill. ‘Granny. Just because you want me to be a witch doest not maketh me a witchity witch from the world of witchydom!’
I take one-step forward and pretend to walk into an invisible wall. I bounce back, rubbing my nose for that extra touch of believability. ‘Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. See, there's a warp ten force shield round this school that stops ALL non-witches getting in. That’s proof. Let's go home.'
Granny sighs. 'For goodness sake, child. Stop making things up. There ain't no force field. You is a witch cos I knows it. Now knock on that knocker before I poke your bottom one more time!'
She shakes her broomstick at me but I don't step forward because I am thinking there is NO WAY that I am touching that knocker. That knocker is a gargoyle's head and it just scowled at me. I’m used to odd things scowling at home, not just Granny, but this knocker has teeth. And it’s gnashing them. Fingers could be lost and I like my fingers. They’re useful.
We both jump when the gargoyle says, in a voice of doom, ‘Be you witches?’
‘Aye,’ says Granny. She drags me up the steps. She is surprisingly strong for a granny. ‘We be two witches.’
‘One,’ says I, loudly.
'Two,' says Granny, even louder.
‘Prove it,’ says the gargoyle knocker.
Granny nips the gargoyle's lips shut and bangs his chin on the wood. Three loud knocks echo in the building. She lets go and his mouth springs open.
‘Proof enough?’ says Granny.
The gargoyle nods crossly and stretches his lips back into shape as the knocks continue to echo through the school.
'There's no one here,' I say, when the sounds die away. I take a step back and inspect the building. The place is crumbly, with weeds growing out of cracks. ‘Look at it. It’s dropping to bits.’ A single bat flies out of a broken window in the tower. ‘Even the bats are leaving. They’ve obviously closed the school because all the witches have died and gone to witchy heaven.’
But then, to my ginormous disappointment, the door creaks open slowly like in a scary monster movie.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak. I’m thinking Dracula, Frankenstein, werewolf!
It isn’t.
End of chapter one!
