Who Cut the Hamster's Hair?
This is a series of school based poems - currently working on the second half. Here's my current favourite, the one the book is named after.
Own up! Own up! Who did this?!?
Just look at him! He's bare!
No playtime till you tell me
Who cut the hamster's hair!
Who gave him a Mohican?
Who tuned him red, white, blue?
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
I suspect that it was you.
Sir, but Sir, unfair Sir!
I didn't do it, see,
I get the blame for everything
Why d'ya think it's me?
Because...
There's...
Blue beneath your fingernails,
There's red upon your knees,
Hamster hair stuck to your nose
Admit your guilt now, please.
Sir, but Sir, unfair Sir!
I'm innocent, you'll find,
The hamster made me do it,
With the power of his mind.
He stared and glared and stared, Sir,
He's really evil, see,
He hypnotised and mesmerised.
He took control of me.
He made me get the scissors, Sir,
He made me get the paint.
I was like a zombie, Sir
Guilty, Sir? I ain't.
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
What a load of tosh.
Hamsters can't control our minds,
What's happening! Oh gosh!
My hands have started shaking.
They're picking up the glue.
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
What you said was true!
The hamster has controlled me,
I really cannot stop.
I have to glue your dribbly nose,
To this dirty mop.
Sir, but sir, Don't do it, sir!
Please get away from me.
I made it up, I lied to you.
I did it! It was ME!
Just look at him! He's bare!
No playtime till you tell me
Who cut the hamster's hair!
Who gave him a Mohican?
Who tuned him red, white, blue?
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
I suspect that it was you.
Sir, but Sir, unfair Sir!
I didn't do it, see,
I get the blame for everything
Why d'ya think it's me?
Because...
There's...
Blue beneath your fingernails,
There's red upon your knees,
Hamster hair stuck to your nose
Admit your guilt now, please.
Sir, but Sir, unfair Sir!
I'm innocent, you'll find,
The hamster made me do it,
With the power of his mind.
He stared and glared and stared, Sir,
He's really evil, see,
He hypnotised and mesmerised.
He took control of me.
He made me get the scissors, Sir,
He made me get the paint.
I was like a zombie, Sir
Guilty, Sir? I ain't.
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
What a load of tosh.
Hamsters can't control our minds,
What's happening! Oh gosh!
My hands have started shaking.
They're picking up the glue.
Tracy Ellie Henderson,
What you said was true!
The hamster has controlled me,
I really cannot stop.
I have to glue your dribbly nose,
To this dirty mop.
Sir, but sir, Don't do it, sir!
Please get away from me.
I made it up, I lied to you.
I did it! It was ME!